Bittersweet Memories
by Jchelz Aerides
Summary: Introspective Collection. There was a reason Lelouch fought this lonely war because he believes that even in the darkest of nights there is always stars - hope that will light our way.
1. Nunally

**A/N:** Thank you for your time. I started this piece as a practice fiction a year ago but decided to post it. This is meant to be a five-shot fiction. I appreciate all your support and reviews too if you don't mind. And please forgive any gramatical errors you may find that I might have overlooked. Flames are very much welcomed. I hope you enjoy this fic.

_Nunally vi Britannia_

_-x-_

* * *

_**Time can give happiness**_

* * *

When we were children, my world was only of my dear mother and beloved brother.

I was so happy...

But that was then.

* * *

_**However it can also take everything away from us**_

* * *

In a cruel twist of fate,

In a single moment,

We lost everything and my world became a dark place.

But even when we were cruelly discarded, banished and cast away,

It doesn't matter as long as you're by my side.

* * *

_**In those dark years, Time gave me happiness everyday**_

* * *

I became Nunally Lamperouge.

I made many, many new friends and I began to smile again.

I thought that everything would return to what it once was –

But it was not to be.

* * *

_**Still I fear**_

* * *

Blind and crippled I became a burden.

In a way, I trapped you, forcing you to stay on that path.

Even if it was selfish of me, still I ask you to always stay by my side,

Because somehow I felt like you were slipping away...

Like you were hiding something.

You promised me with gentle words that you will always be there.

I believed you as I always did because I loved you very much.

"_Lelouch, you are my onii-sama I could always trust because you would never lie to me right?"_

* * *

_**Because fate has a way of stealing everything one holds dear**_

* * *

I became aware of your atrocities.

I wished with all my heart it wasn't true.

Perhaps...perhaps if it was for me, please stop. But I was being naive.

When I opened my eyes, I saw what you have become,

A crazed dictator

By then I decided to end it all – yours and mine.

I will save you from yourself. It was the least I could do.

But then you used it – that accursed power.

Just for a moment, I thought I saw a familiar light in your eyes – not as the tyrant you are but as my dear brother...

"_How could you..."_

And then it vanished.

* * *

_**Waiting is never easy and yet that's the only thing she can do**_

* * *

I lay helpless as I watched you rise as the first and only Emperor of the World.

For once I wished I was blind again. The world became a terrible place.

I hated you so.

But when Zero ran his sword through you, my heart shattered as the truth is revealed.

* * *

_**You've had enough, you can come back now**_

* * *

Only now did I realise,

"_All this while..."_

For everyone you've forsaken, the world and me,

"_I love you onii-sama"_

At last he returned to her, her kind brother who loved her more than anything did.


	2. Kallen

_Kallen Stadtfeld_

_-x-_

* * *

_**Faith is like the sun**_

* * *

When Britannia won, Japan was stripped of everything,

I was given the privilege of choice.

"_You could live a fairly easy life, if you chose to be a Stadtfeld"_

Even so I choose to fight for a world mother and I could live in.

I fought thus far because I believed it to be the right thing to do.

That's why I've killed so many people.

But can what we're doing really change the world?

* * *

_**It gives us courage to believe, strength to hope**_

* * *

Then you walked into our lives.

'The allies of Justice'

'The Order of the Black Knight'

We were called many names and with you the impossible became a reality.

Singlehandedly you led a massive rebellion against the all mighty Britannia.

Together, our victories and defeat changed the course of the world.

* * *

_**Because the sun will always rise **_

* * *

You – Zero became an icon, hope to all those subjugated by Britannia

And I became your ace

Q-1

* * *

_**But Faith is a fragile thing**_

* * *

When the man behind the mask is revealed,

To our shock you were none other than Lelouch vi Britannia, a once prince of Britannia

I felt cheated, betrayed. Everything I ever knew about you was a lie.

I thought you shared our vision.

Why Lelouch?

Was I just another chess piece?

Was this all a game?

That day, we cast you aside; we sold you to your enemy.

* * *

_**Because there would be storms sometimes don't you think**_

* * *

Alone and against all odds you made the world watch as you were proclaimed 99th Emperor of Britannia.

However when your precious sister was used against you, you showed us the true extent of your genius and cruelty.

By the time we were chained to stakes, there was none other to defy your rule.

"_Lelouch, is this what you wanted to accomplish – to control the world and everyone?"_

* * *

_**So we wait and believe**_

* * *

When Zero's sword was levelled against your heart I saw the entirety of your grand scheme

"_The one who wears the mask of Zero carries the burden of the world"_

You carry the obligation of fulfilling the hopes and dreams placed upon you

"_You are Zero now, so keep up your lie until the very end"_

* * *

**_After all they'll always return_**

* * *

We couldn't believe in you until the very end.

This tomorrow that you gave us,

A tomorrow that you'll never be able to see,

Thank you Lelouch.

* * *

**_And today, the sun is shining very brightly indeed_**

* * *

I've finally realised

"_Kallen...live on"_

You are truly Zero.


	3. Suzaku

_Kururugi Suzaku_

_-x-_

* * *

_**Wishes are powerful things **_

* * *

To the eyes of a child, the world appeared to be a sad place.

A world without war seemed almost impossible,

Until you came.

It was a beginning for us that summer day,

Beginning of happy times.

* * *

_**Because for hers you will destroy worlds**_

* * *

Eventually our long summer came to an end,

And with it came hostilities and annihilation.

"_Suzaku, I will destroy Britannia"_

It was a promise of retribution and our friendship's end,

And I never saw you again.

* * *

_**For every Wish granted**_

* * *

Still I couldn't tell you.

There is only one penance for my sin,

_'The traitor knight'_

Its fine because I will die saving someone.

But would things be different if I had?

* * *

_**There must be a price**_

* * *

By chance or fate I met you once more,

But you weren't the same anymore...or was it me who changed?

You've became a murderer for the sake of justice.

"_Come with me, Britannia is not worth serving"_

That is why I will change Britannia from within.

Victories achieved using the wrong method is meaningless. It only brings the feeling of loss and regret.

* * *

_**And the burden of it will crush one's soul**_

* * *

There is no future for those who died.

Is happiness to be found in a future that is grasped with blood stained hands?

"_How different are you from him?"_

Maybe we're not so different after all.

"_Suzaku-kun, why do you keep fighting if you hate people die?"_

Back then, I've decided to fight so that they won't die.

"_That contradiction might kill you one day"_

* * *

_****__**But we've gone too far **_

* * *

But why Lelouch did you curse me –

Even when you knew your Geass to _'live'_ goes against my very believes.

And yet I could see your very reason was her.

The day you went on your knees; you discarded your pride,

I saw it in your eyes – the eyes of a person willing to bear the burden alone.

And so for Nunally's sake and Euphie's too I joined you once more.

* * *

_**This isn't just about her anymore**_

* * *

In the 'World of C' I asked you once more.

It was then I realised,

"_To get results, actions are needed. And the method of one chooses will lead to the denial of other"_

What I really treasured were my ideals and aesthetics.

_"The world won't change with pretty words alone"_

And so you became the demon itself...for the sake of Zero Requiem.

And I – Zero shall slay him.

"_Kururrugi Suzaku no longer exists. You will live forever, wearing the mask of Zero, giving up your happiness for the sake of the world."_

* * *

_**Maybe now, I might just understand you a little better**_

* * *

It was the price of peace

And in a way, this is also punishment for me.

"_Suzaku, don't you think wishes are like Geass?"_

How ironic isn't it?

_"Hear my wish Suzaku. You're going to be a hero now. The Mesiah that will save the world"_


	4. CC

_C.C_

_-x-_

* * *

_**Love is the purest of feelings**_

* * *

Everyone is chained to something.

And I this onwards flow of time.

"_Do you know why snow is white? It's because it has forgotten its colour._"

Life without its end is not living.

I merely existed – an experience or so to say.

"_This is our contract. In return for my gift of power you must grant one wish of mine."_

All I yearned for was someone...anyone who could release me from this hell,

And you were just another who could.

* * *

_**The only thing denied to me**_

* * *

Again and again,

I witnessed their rise and fall.

"_If you accept these terms, you will live as human but also as one completely different."_

I've been standing before time watching passively as history repeats itself.

Humans are foolish, driven by ambition, desire.

"_The Power of Kings will make you very lonely indeed but if you're prepared then..."_

Everyone I ever know has disappeared in time,

And you will be the same.

Just like every other before you.

* * *

_**For it must be given willingly, never taken**_

* * *

No one understands what it's like to be truly lonely.

"_I hereby accept this contract"_

Immortality is a curse.

It's a never ending punishment.

And so I shall spare you.

"_You should come to death smiling"_

Why?

I used you Lelouch – Even when I knew the entire truth.

* * *

_**But Love is also a sin**_

* * *

Contracts is unlike love or friendship,

You get nothing more or less then what's required.

"_Do you regret me giving you Geass"_

For I'm the witch with eternal life cursed to walk alone in perpetuity

"_You are not alone. If you are the witch then I'm the warlock."_

This is the first time I've ever met a man like you.

I thought I had lost every human aspect in me,

For the first time in centuries I felt human – alive.

* * *

_**It only leads to tragedies, unhappiness, and grief**_

* * *

Lelouch vi Britannia

Lelouch Lamperouge

They are one and the same. Both and yet neither. He's a contradiction and if anything is keeping him together it is this wish: _Nunally_

Her happiness is all that matters to him

"_Lelouch...as the price of casting Geass upon others you..."_

And for that her wishes became his.

* * *

_**Even so as long as humans continue to Love it'll be alright**_

* * *

"_You know, I think that snow is beautiful"_

You are a kind person Lelouch


	5. Epilogue

_"Do you always have to sacrifice something in order to protect something?"_

...

...

His ultimate sacrifice ended the war.

And yet in the end she didn't smile.

...

...

He gave everything to create that peaceful future.

A place where we won't lose anyone dear to us

Where everyone could live peacefully

...

...

To accomplish it he will do anything

He would cast his heart to the depths of hell

And for her he became the demon

...

...

But even though he wanted to lose it

Lelouch still has his heart

Broken

Shattered

But it was definitely still there

Reaching out

Crying out

For someone

For anyone

...

...

Even so he doesn't fear the silent darkness

Because tomorrow will always be brighter

He loved her so much

More than anything in the world

And not even death can change it

...

...

Lelouch's motivation is just the core of human nature

The desire for just a tiny bit of happiness

After all these wishes, they are born from despair

...

...

That is why he embraced carnage

In order to not waste the blood that has already been shed

He has no choice but to shed even more

...

...

"_Why fight?"_

Because there is something one needs to protect

That's why he will protect her from the truth

Because the truth is ugly

He lies because it is the one thing that keeps her safe

And so he will tell the greatest lie that will save the world because nothing else can

After all, Zero is the lie that everyone loves isn't it?

...

...

Lelouch is truly a master of deceit

And do you know what's the saddest thing?

We only realised it in the end.

So answer me,

"_What is the greatest gift a hero can give?"_

...

...

**In Memory of**

**Lelouch vi Britannia**

**The True Saviour of the World**


	6. Lelouch

_Lelouch vi Britannia_

_-x-_

* * *

_**What does it mean to be strong?**_

* * *

If happiness has a physical form what would it look like?

We can't normally see it but it must look like that

Without realising it back then I was living in a world that is irreplaceable

* * *

_**Was it a crime then to be weak?**_

* * *

But I've gone too far

_"Had you and Euphie combined forces, thing would be different! The world—"_

It's too late to turn back now

_"Win through, Lelouch. Ignore your past and the consequences of your actions."_

* * *

_**To protect which one holds most dear**_

* * *

_...Euphie..._

She was my first love.

It was a mistake, mine entirely,

And the world was stained red.

_...Shirley..._

_"No matter how many times I'm reborn, I'm sure I'll fall in love with you again and again"_

I'm not worth it

_"You loved her didn't you?"_

Right now I don't know anymore

* * *

_**You must throw away every hesitation**_

* * *

_...Rolo..._

Why did you save me?

_"I might've been used in the end but the time I spent with you was real"_

With this life you help extended I will end this once and for all

_...C.C..._

Thank you.

_"I was dead until the moment I met you. Living without power, without the ability to change my course was akin to slow death."_

Be happy

* * *

_**Then you will discover true strength**_

* * *

_"There are no acts that are unforgiveable. It's just that you don't want to forgive."_

Perhaps I don't deserve it

This is why I will persevere

* * *

_**Only sometimes to be stronger than you are**_

* * *

Humans will always search for happiness

I will believe that

To always believe in the future

No matter how uncertain, fragile

* * *

_**You need to be someone else**_

* * *

This is why I will do what I must.

This is my strength, my resolve

_"Only those who are allowed to shoot are those who are prepared to be shot"_

And so I shall

-x-

_My name is Lelouch vi Britannia,_

_Firstborn of Empress Marianne,_

_Prince discarded by the empire._

_If anyone wishes to stop me, let them try,_

_If anyone who can go beyond my despair_


End file.
